A friend, near death...

Yesterday, I visited a friend now in the final stages of a battle with cancer. She is almost gone, with family and friends now at watch 'round the clock - the death vigil. All who gather offer support, make small talk, play with cute children so that grown-ups can discuss weighty matters. There is no denial left in this grieving process, only a little anger, some bargaining, lots of sadness, and a trend towards acceptance.

There is so very little to do when a friend is lying there, dying.

Standing at the bedside yesterday, I thought about what I knew of her life, and remembered good times and hard times - she's had cancer before, and has beaten the odds. She was no stranger to trouble - all kinds of trouble - but she was a tough as nails...

I imagined myself lying there. If I am dying, I thought, I want music around me - I grew up in a house filled with music; the quietness at times like this feels a little like darkness. So, in the silence, as we were standing there waiting for my friend to take another breath, this old hymn came to mind:

"Come thou fount of every blessing, Tune my heart to sing Thy grace;
Streams of mercy never ceasing, Call for songs of loudest praise.

Teach me some melodious sonnet, Sung by flaming tongues above;
Praise the mount, I'm fixed upon it, Mount of Thy redeeming love.

Here I'll raise my Ebenezer, Hither by Thy help I'll come;
And I hope, by Thy good pleasure, Safely to arrive at home.

Jesus sought me when a stranger, Wand'ring from the fold of God;
He, to rescue me from danger, Interposed his precious blood.

Oh, to grace how great a debtor, Daily I'm constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter, Bind my wand'ring heart to Thee:

Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it, Prone to leave the God I love;
Here's my heart, O take and seal it, Seal it for Thy courts above."

Aside from the beautiful poetry here, written by Robert Robinson, this song contains a reference to something called an "Ebenezer". In the Old Testament, the Israelites had great battles with the Phillistines. Once, after defeating the Phillistines, Samuel marked the victory by erecting a stone monument, which he called the Stone of Help (in Hebrew, "Even Ezer"). It was a way of giving thanks to God for the help that could only come from Him. So, an "Ebenezer" is a commemorative of this fact: Although we have been through a great battle, with troubles, trials, and tribulations, we have had a helper, an advocate, a friend.

This is for K., ever faithful, right to the end. These words are my "Ebenezer", erected in memory of her battle with cancer. It is a reminder to all of us she leaves behind, that although the battle is long and at times the rewards are few, there is a Help in times of trouble, there is a Song in the silence, there is a Light in the darkness.