Last Rites

K.'s funeral is today. My Reunion group pals will be there, really to support me (they never met K.), and I love them for that - It's what Reunion groups do.

K.'s daughter has planned a "Celebration of Life" for K.'s big send-off - much more appropriate than a "funeral", which K. wouldn't have wanted. No dirges. I'm betting on hearing some stories about K.; like how she had this tendency to fall out of bed for no reason (thump!), get up, climb back in, and not remember a thing about it the next day.

Come to think of it, her life was like that in a way. Fall down, get back up, go back to business, forget about it...

I've had discussions about funeral plans, or celebratory send-offs, whatever you want to call them, with several people. My friend J. says he wants all his friends there, and a big gospel choir, lots of shouting, rolling in the aisles. M. says she just wants to slip away quietly. Most folks that talk about it don't want sentamentality and tears. K. and her daughter wanted a Celebration - 'nuff said. K. lingered long enough so that she and her daughter could plan things, like who would speak, what songs would be sung, the tone and tenor of the service, that sort of thing. They inspired me to plan mine, so that I don't leave that behind for my loved ones to worry and fret over.

Along those lines, here's a poem by Langston Hughes. I wish I could have been at his funeral, if it was anything like he wanted it to be.


As Befits a Man

I don't mind dying---
But I'd hate to die all alone!
I want a dozen pretty women
To holler, cry, and moan.

I don't mind dying
But I want my funeral to be fine:
A row of long tall mamas
Fainting, fanning, and crying.

I want a fish-tail hearse
And sixteen fish-tail cars,
A big brass band
And a whole truck load of flowers.

When they let me down,
Down into the clay,
I want the women to holler:
"Please don't take him away!
Ow-ooo-oo-o!
Don't take daddy away!"